Children from violent homes, both those who are victims of abuse and those who have witnessed abuse of one parent by the other, may show a range of different behaviors and effects of the violence. Children may act out aggressively, they may withdraw from others and isolate themselves, or they may try to become the perfect child.

Children who act out their anger and frustration may do so in a number of different ways, such as exhibiting delinquent behavior, stealing, using alcohol or other drugs, abusing one of the parents, or using violence towards siblings and peers.

• O'Keefe (1996) found that both boys and girls who witnessed violence were more likely than those who had not to demonstrate aggressive behavior problems.
• Children from violent homes may also exhibit other aggressive and violent behavior such as open rage, low frustration tolerance, and may be difficult to "control."
• In a study by Rosenberg (1987), it was found that children who had witnessed high levels of battering in the home (i.e. many types and a high frequency of violent behavior) had lower levels of empathy towards others.

• Temper tantrums.
• Aggressive behaviors such as hitting, biting, kicking, screaming.
• Overly fearful or overly fearless.
• Nightmares.
• Aggressive behavior towards parent or sibling.
• Destroying toys, or other objects.
• Pushing safety limits (i.e. continuing risky behavior even when redirected).
• Difficulty with potty training (or regression if already potty trained).
• Hoarding food, toys, etc., due to anxiety and abandonment issues. If a child's basic needs have not been met (including needs for attention and nurturing), s/he may participate in hoarding behavior as a way to fulfill those needs for her/himself.

• Fighting in school with peers or bullying.
• Disrespectful to teachers and other authority figures.
• Poor grades. (Due to inattention if under stress or inattention due to exhaustion.)
• Shoplifting.
• Vandalizing or destroying objects (either own belongings or others' belongings).
• Running away.
• Aggressive behaviors such as hitting, biting, kicking, etc.
• Abuse of a parent or sibling.
• Swearing, verbal abuse, threats.
• Pushing safety limits with self and others.

• Children from violent homes have higher risks of alcohol and other drug abuse and juvenile delinquency.
• Carlson (1990) found that adolescent observers of marital violence acted out in a number of ways including running away, using violence against their parents, and using violence against their dating partners.
• All of these behaviors may either lead a parent or family to "throw out" a teen. The teen may be the scapegoat of the family and her/his behaviors may be justification for the family to throw the teen out. Or the teen exhibiting these sorts of behaviors and becoming involved with the system may cause her/him to run away to avoid consequences or to protect the secret of the family violence.
• These types of behaviors may be hiding deeper issues of anger, mistrust, fear, or depression. A teen may run away from the situation using her/his past history of getting in trouble as justification for running, but may actually be just trying to escape a painful situation. In many cases, the teen may run from one abusive situation at home to another abusive situation on the street with older "friends" or partners in order to survive.

• The loner of the family attempts to become "invisible" to the rest of the family and will display a great deal of independence and autonomy.
• The perfect child of the family tries very hard to be perfect and will be a hard worker in school, athletics and in interpersonal relationships with others in the community.
• Children in either one of these roles may exhibit some internalizing behaviors such as problems in school with grades or truancy, depression, learned helplessness (in that they are relatively powerless to prevent the abuse of one of their parents), blaming themselves for the abuse, internalized shame and guilt about the abuse and not wanting the secret to get out, suicidal fantasies, cutting on self, withdrawing from others.
• A study by Carlson (1990) found that children who had been exposed to domestic violence were more likely to report suicidal thoughts. These suicidal thoughts are probably related to depression and the desire to "escape" the violence through any means possible.
• In the study done by O'Keefe (1996), it was found that girls reported significantly higher internalizing behaviors than boys (including anxiety, depression, and withdrawal).

• Quiet, non-communicative. May not speak until a late age.
• Shy, anxious about being away from caregiver. "Clingy."
• Nightmares.
• Depressed.
• Hoarding food, toys, etc. May not be as pushy about it as a child who has externalized behaviors.
• Withdrawn from others. Unable to connect with others on a social or interpersonal level. Distant behaviors which seem developmentally inappropriate for the child.
• Difficulty with potty training or regression if already potty trained. May include wetting the bed, soiling self, etc.
• Trying to care for mom or dad's or other siblings' needs or feelings.
• Examples of these sorts of behaviors in school-aged children:
• Quiet, good child.
• May try to get really good grades and become very upset about any correction given. Perfectionist.
• Depression. Suicidal thoughts.
• Withdrawn and quiet ("Loner"). Doesn't want to be a burden to those around her/him. Tries to be invisible; doesn't want to draw any attention to self. May find respite in own world and will tend not to depend on others, but rather on self.
• Running away.
• Self-mutilation such as picking at skin, cutting on self, pulling out hair, etc.
• Acting as another "adult" in the household by taking care of parents or younger siblings. Thus, the child loses a portion of her/his childhood.

• Teens from violent homes experience guilt and shame about their violent homes and fear the consequences of talking about the abuse within the home. Because the approval of peers is so important at this age, many teens would prefer to hide what is going on in their families than risk being ostracized by their peers. These children may end up running away to avoid having the secret of what is going on in their families get out to their peers in addition to running away to escape the violence within their homes.
• According to McNeal and Amato (1998), children who have witnessed parents' marital violence may blame themselves for violence between their parents, resulting in feelings of guilt and lowered self-esteem. Teens who feel this way may believe that running away may solve the violence against one of their parents because they blame themselves for the abuse and feel that by removing themselves from the situation, they are removing the cause of abuse.
• McNeal and Amato (1998) also discuss how teens who have witnessed inter-parental violence may have difficulty regulating their own emotions and may be unable to trust others and therefore unable to form stable bonds with others.
• Children and teens who have witnessed domestic violence may also feel powerless to stop the abuse between their parents and may demonstrate other behaviors such as eating disorders or self-mutilation in order to gain a feeling of power back in their lives.
• In addition to feeling responsible for the violence in their families, teens may take on roles of the family nurturer. "Parents may rely inappropriately on their children for nurturance, support, and guidance" (Rosenberg, 1987). Thus, the child may lose many of their childhood experiences, further contributing to a feeling of pressure, anxiety or depression for the child. Teens in these roles may attempt to escape from this pressure or anxiety through running away or taking their own lives.