The following are personal characteristics that may indicate that someone you know or are involved with has a tendency toward abuse. Not all characteristics need apply for the relationship to be abusive, and characteristics by themselves do not necessarily indicate abuse.

• Demonstrates ownership of you, possessiveness; says things like "I can't live without you," or "You are my whole world."
• Feels he/she has the right to dictate your behavior, privileges, or responses and opinions
• Blames you for her/his problems or behavior
• Isolates you - doesn't allow you to see your family or friends; needs to constantly know your whereabouts; expects you to spend all of your free time with him/her
• Humiliates you in public
• Insists on controlling all of the money, both your and his/hers
• Refuses to let you go to work or, at the other extreme, forces you to work
• Has no regard for your physical or mental health
• Criticizes your appearance, weight, clothes, etc.
• Pressures you to live together or get married before you are ready
• Angers easily
• Becomes angry when you have a different opinion than he/she does or don't take his/her advice
• Shows jealousy toward your children, family, friends, or job
• Suggests reasons for you to fear ending the relationship
• Dual personality (Jekyll and Hyde), i.e., charming in public, aggressive in private
• Displays violent behavior toward other people
• Disregards the law; feels he/she is above the law
• Doesn't want you to know about his/her past
• Blames all past relationship problems on the ex-partner
• Has a record or history of domestic violence

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